Female 20+  281 words. Snow White. "The Prince and Gingie"

From: A Dopey Christmas by Paul Pasulka

It is true. I am Snow White. My name is synonymous with Christmas. But all my life, I have never felt complete. You dream of a white Christmas? I dreamt of him - only of him - of you, Santa Claus, my beloved - that whole time I was asleep. I knew it was our destiny to be together. And then, day of joy! You came to me in my dream and promised to make all my dreams come true. That you that would awaken me with a kiss, and we would be together forever. But when I opened my eyes and say that I had been awakened by a kiss from that - that - slobbering silly prince, I became a crest-fallen Snow.

And yes, it is also true that I married him. I had no choice. But it was never consummated. You try screwing with seven little bastards hanging around all the time.  Besides, the Prince was gaga about the Gingerbread man. He ignored me. Can you believe it? Me? I told him he was just toying with him. But would he listen? Gingie - that’s what he called him - Gingie would taunt him: “Run run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me; I’m the Gingerbread man.”  It was pathetic. A prince, for God’s sake, chasing after a gingerbread man, like a dog after a boner. It was so humiliating. Once, we were in Cannes and Gingie shows up with his entourage. Prince drooled himself into a puddle trying to get a little nibble. So, no, thank you very much. I am as chaste as the Driven Snow, and I am here to see that Santa keeps his promise to marry me.