Male 16-20. 400 words. Dominique: “Dominique's Rap” From Remote.
By Paul Pasulka
Oh. Hey. You Jamie, Right...? Dominique… But not like the singin' nun. Like Wilkins.
He mimes a dunk shot.
From the Hawks? (Beat.) No...? I play hoops, but that's not my real thing. I. Dance.
He dances a short break-dance toprock.
They said you’re a dancer, too... I’ll bet you’re not a b-boy, though. Ballet, right? Tights and all. It’s cool. It’s all dance. (Beat.) Yeah. They said you don't talk, neither. (He sees the candy bar on the table). Be a shame if you don’t have a tongue, 'cause that would just go to waste. You gonna eat it?
Thanks. Cadbury? What the fu – oh, um... Never heard of that. Well... Gotta try shit if you gonna know what you like.
No...? Mmm. That's good. Like a Chunky. My uncle's favorite. “What a chunk a chocolate.” I liked that Snickers you had the other day. Oops. Owe you one for that. My uncle, he knows all the candy bars. One, Bit-a-honey, had a commercial back in the eight-track day. Some Martian dude starts eatin' one. Only he has two heads, so it's like gone like that. (Snaps his fingers) And he says (Martian voice), “Bit o' honey goes a long long way. If you have one head, it lasts all day.” That shit cracked him up. He made up more words:
Bit-a-honey goes a long long way,
If you got one head, it last all day.
Black. No money, be on your way,
Even three heads, you get none today.
My father just looks at him like he’s crazy. My uncle just keep grinnin': “Yep, sometimes you feel like a nut.”
And how come you don’t have to wear this? Dr. J, right...?
Yeah, he's cool. 'S up with that? (pointing to the remote). You know, that ain't gonna work on nothin' in here. It’s a remote, but there ain't no control. No way, no how.
Yeah. Wait. Remote. Control. Yeah. No, look, dog, like this, um... Yeah. (composing a rap verse, reciting rhythmically).
“You got the remote...” um, “but...
can't change the station...
You got the”... No... “You swing the vote,
but don't swing no nation...
You on the float
but a whack occasion.,,
You ain't in.” No. “You ain't an orange,
you still a patient.”
DOMINIQUE holds out his hand to slap five.
Fuck's up with that? Leave a brother hangin'? (Beat.) Forget you.