Male. 18-25. 228 words Sewey: “Reseach Pain.” From Charades.
By Paul Pasulka
So I understand someone here - well, there, in Antarctica - is researching the responses of juvenile sea lions to abdominal surgery. Well, I have done my homework, and I’d like to start by saying - and I hope I’m not offending anybody - but that seems just a little silly. “Ow! What the heck are you doing to my tummy?” ‘Cause believe me, I know it would hurt and that right there would be the response. So you kinda don’t have to do the research.
And behavioral responses of juvenile sea lions to hot-iron branding? “Ow!” Again. See? But even if there was still some scientific reason to do both experiments, you could do them together and save time. See? Plus then the hurt would be like one, instead of two. Oh, wait. Why didn’t I think of that before? Darn. Now I understand. That would that confound the variables, right? Because how would you know which ‘ow’ was for which procedure - Branding - “Ow!” Surgery - “Ow!” Yep. They sound exactly alike. So, scientifically speaking, two hurts are indeed better than one. I guess that’s why you’re the senior research-guys - er, persons. And again, I must tell you how perceptive you are, and how much I could learn from you as an intern. Thank you again, for this opportunity. And right there you got an idea of how I think, scientifically-speaking.