Uncharacteristically Female. 25+ 206 words.
Sergeant Lewis: “One Mean Mo-fo.” From: Skin for Skin.
By Paul Pasulka
How the fuck I know his name. Job’s what they call him. That or 66773499. Anyhow, chief says, “Strip him down, soldier. I don’t want him to eat, sleep, piss, shit or fart for four days.” He is one mean mo-fo. No, not Job. Talkin’ about Colonel Lewis.
He tells me, he says, “Soldier, I have a dog at home. I call him Om.” “Om, sir?” I ask. “Omnipotence, soldier.” So I’m thinking. Omnipotence? “Oh, yes, sir. Omnipotence. Like impotence, only the opposite. Good name for a dog, sir.” And he goes, “Really, soldier. I am impressed.” So I say, “Yes, sir. My grandmother took my once-a-week-scrubbed ass to church.” And he says, “Do you still go to church, soldier?” “Yes, sir,” I answer, lyin’ through my fuckin’ teeth. And he says. “That’s good. Christian warriors are the bravest warriors. And my Om is the meanest, bravest mother-freakin’ Christian warrior there is. But I ask you, what the freak good is omnipotence if it doesn’t get out to intimidate the neighbors every now and again.” How did he put it? Oh, yeah. Omnipotence exists only when it is turgid and exercised liberally. It shrinks if it is not periodically let off-leash.
He truly is a mean mo-fo. Good thing he’s our mean mo-fo.
Author's note: I believe Squarespace censored this upload. Sgt. Lewis would not be shy about saying m*th*r-f*ck*r. And she would say it very well.